Dinger’s Dunces

If there was ever a sport in which using your intelligence (or lack thereof) affected the outcome of a game, baseball would be it. One way to win games is just to have everybody healthy. This is a cerebral effect because, for the most part, you can keep yourself in shape and well by just taking care of yourself. Some baseball players just haven’t quite mastered that throughout the years.

“Dinger’s Dunces” will rank three of the dumbest injuries that have happened out of sheer stupidity in recent memory. Without further ado, let’s get after it.

3. Bret Barberie

Barberie was known more for his marriage choice rather than his playing skills. Barberie played for four clubs in six years, hitting .271 in his short career. Though his career ended with a .071 batting average for the Cubs back in 1996, he was able to snag Fox NFL Sunday’s Jillian Reynolds.

Though he may have been a rising star on the field, Bret Barberie wasn't in the kitchen. (Trading Card Database)

Though he may have been a rising star on the field, Bret Barberie wasn’t one in the kitchen. (Trading Card Database)

While a member of the Marlins (1993-94), Barberie was cooking a meal before a game and accidently rubbed his eye after cooking with chilli peppers. After washing his eyes out, Barberie ripped his contact and couldn’t see. The burn didn’t let up as Barberie sat out of the lineup that evening.

He would later divorce Jillian and flame out of the majors. Poor Bret. He puts the “fun” in dysfunctional.

2. Marty Cordova

Cordova won the 1995 AL Rookie of the Year as a member of the Minnesota Twins, where he had 24 home runs and swiped 20 bags. He enjoyed a pretty decent career, finishing with 122 homers, 540 RBI and a .274 batting average.

What brought Cordova to fame was a self-induced injury when we was a member of the Baltimore Orioles (2002-03).

Cordova wasn’t in to the spray-tanning phenomenon and didn’t think he got enough rays during the season. Cordova decided to go tanning before a game and fell asleep on the tanning bed. What woke him up was the sound of his face grilling. He would have to miss the next few games while he recovered from a facial burn.

But, man was he tan!

1. Adam Eaton

Settle down, Diamondbacks fans. Not your Adam Eaton, but this Adam Eaton.

Eaton was a former first-round selection of the Phillies back in 1996. He made it to the majors in 2000 and finished his career with the Rockies in 2009. He won 71 games and never had an ERA below 4.00, playing for five different organizations.

Adam Eaton is unfortunately known more by his injury than his performance. (Yardbarker)

Adam Eaton is unfortunately known more by his injury than his performance. (Yardbarker)

What made Eaton famous was a blunder that happened during his tenure with the Padres. He was trying to open a DVD case with a paring knife and ended up stabbing himself in the stomach. He later went to the emergency room and made a full recovery.

Eaton’s “horror film” does have my backing. Those cases are hard to open!

Baseball is considered by many as a game of chess. Let’s hope these three aren’t playing against Bobby Fischer anytime soon.

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